Passionless?

When the question, "Are you depressed?" came from my supervisor yesterday at our 1-on-1, I realized I needed to do some thinking. The answer, if you're concerned, is a resounding no. I'm in tune with what's going on in my head more now than ever. I credit the droopy eyes and inability to stay awake to a developing head cold. So I think I'm fine.


In the beginning of my journal I have a list of my passions. There are 27. Most of them are very simple things or ways of being. But I can't read that list without having an overwhelming feeling of joy. I bring this up to say that if there were a subtitle to this post, it would be "No." However, I realized yesterday that I feel no strong pull towards anything for my future. At this point going to graduate school would be settling. I can see myself in a student affairs career as a mostly happy, successful person. But let's be honest, I'm not cut out to be a professional person. I like being professional every once in a while, mostly because of wide leg pants, pointy toe shoes, and matching handbag. But it's hard to play outside in pointy toe shoes.



I truly believe that God will reveal his plans for me in due time.

"But as for me I watch in hope for the Lord. I wait for God my Savior, my God will hear me!" Micah 7:7

"You will find me when you seek me with all of your heart." Jeremiah 29:13



Some thoughts that I have read in different devotionals are:

"You can take each step today with a quiet heart knowing that his peace keeps you steady and sure."

"Have the confidence in God to walk steadily in Him, and He will give you what you desire."



I believe in these promises, but I've realized lately that it's a conflict of wanting promises or prophecy. God gives us plenty of promises, but doesn't always tell us exact details. I must have the faith to believe in promises even when I don't know the specifics. So for now, even though I don't completely know what I desire, I keep reminding myself to have a quiet heart. The thing that is most troubling to me is what to do in this time of limbo.