My Laughing Buddies

I'm on duty tonight, and things are pretty quiet *knock on wood*. I'm not sure that I have any deep thoughts for today. Cycles of Dayquil and Nyquil have pretty much wiped me out for a few days. But, the big event is tomorrow, so I need to get a lot of things finished before then. I thought I'd share some of the pictures from recent family gatherings.

I must say, I LOVE being an aunt. Brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews were kinds of family I didn't think I'd get to have earlier in my life. I am living proof though that through bad situations come many blessings. The picture above is Lincoln, my newest nephew, perfect in my opinion.

Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of all of my nieces and nephews. But I'm proud of all of them. Mostly I'm thankful for the joy they bring. I'll never forget Grant calling me his laughing buddy. I'm totally okay with that.

Passionless?

When the question, "Are you depressed?" came from my supervisor yesterday at our 1-on-1, I realized I needed to do some thinking. The answer, if you're concerned, is a resounding no. I'm in tune with what's going on in my head more now than ever. I credit the droopy eyes and inability to stay awake to a developing head cold. So I think I'm fine.


In the beginning of my journal I have a list of my passions. There are 27. Most of them are very simple things or ways of being. But I can't read that list without having an overwhelming feeling of joy. I bring this up to say that if there were a subtitle to this post, it would be "No." However, I realized yesterday that I feel no strong pull towards anything for my future. At this point going to graduate school would be settling. I can see myself in a student affairs career as a mostly happy, successful person. But let's be honest, I'm not cut out to be a professional person. I like being professional every once in a while, mostly because of wide leg pants, pointy toe shoes, and matching handbag. But it's hard to play outside in pointy toe shoes.



I truly believe that God will reveal his plans for me in due time.

"But as for me I watch in hope for the Lord. I wait for God my Savior, my God will hear me!" Micah 7:7

"You will find me when you seek me with all of your heart." Jeremiah 29:13



Some thoughts that I have read in different devotionals are:

"You can take each step today with a quiet heart knowing that his peace keeps you steady and sure."

"Have the confidence in God to walk steadily in Him, and He will give you what you desire."



I believe in these promises, but I've realized lately that it's a conflict of wanting promises or prophecy. God gives us plenty of promises, but doesn't always tell us exact details. I must have the faith to believe in promises even when I don't know the specifics. So for now, even though I don't completely know what I desire, I keep reminding myself to have a quiet heart. The thing that is most troubling to me is what to do in this time of limbo.

Like a river

After graduating this May and figuring out that my previous three years were not leading where I wanted to go, a total life overhaul was in store. My family, and several friends, still don't understand what exactly it is I do all day. Honestly, some days nothing. There are also the occasional craft project days: knitting, quilting, card-making, etc. But I wrote this to share with the other hall directors last night, and so I'll share with you. My job is to love.


24 hours a day I am responding to residents. I respond when they break rules or show disrespect, and even when they get locked out of their room 8 times a week. I drive car-less first year students to the doctor and make midnight hospital trips. These are my chances to build relationships.








I am also supervising a staff of resident advisors, responding to their needs and questions. I work with them in group settings, 1-on-1, and impromptu meetings when their life seems like it's falling apart. I think of my supervision as a direct training of my staff on how to be more caring and helpful adults. At the same time, they are learning to be more organized and quality people.


Romans 5:5 says, "God has poured out His love to fill our hearts. God gave us His love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us."


Since I've received this love from the Holy Spirit, it will flow from me like a river. Water from a river flows into a space, enriches and fills that space, then flows on to fill another space. Wash, rinse, and repeat. So my day is spent going with the flow, wherever that takes me.

"Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it."
~Hebrews 13:1-2


About 5 minutes after I had written this yesterday, a guy who ALWAYS gets locked out came and knocked on my door, because yes...he was locked out. I laughed and thought to myself, he's one of the angels I was meant to entertain. *insert Newsboys song here*